Compromise - I do that a lot
I make deals with myself so I can eat what I want on the understanding that I behave for a period afterwards - then I welch on the deal and eat tons
this has to end - this will end
I wait until the weekend to do stuff and then don't so things like the work on the flat doesn't get done
and feel like I have to explain some of the choices I make about things I do - don't really know why but I'm putting it down to low self esteem because of a range of reasons
those reasons are no longer important because I just turned 45 and I'm still single and living a life that I don't always enjoy
This is going to change
There are things I do and like which others don't like or understand - nothing illegal or immoral just different
thats their problem not mine
I don't have to explain myself to anyone
Thats all I'm prepared to say on that subject
as for the flat I have 7 days before I go back to work and some work isd being done on the flat - today is general cleaning and more involved sorting etc will be done as the week goes on
another post xmas attempt to lose weight will be undertaken and at some point this coming year
I will do the gym thing when I want to - I wont be pushed into it or bullied into it or anything else
becasue of my back and respitory problems and Robs neck we won't be going to Southwell festival but will be trying to see somne of the folk acts we like at indoor gigs
I will be trying to get to events next year on top of everything else in an attempt to expand my geekery and meet new people
I have a hospital appointment on the 16th Jan for tests to see if an old problem has resurfaced (I am not looking forward to that I can tell you)
with all this going on I hope to meet someone as the idea of 'hooking up' with someone in a pub doesn't appeal
(although the 3 women I have loved in my life I have met by chance and it was a bolt from the blue kinda thing)
anyway we'll see what happens with that
right now I'm having a massive cup of Earl Grey and catching up on Agents of Shield
