I saw Brit
On Monday couple of feet away, her eyes met mine and the world didn't explode or anything
you see I was listening to an audio of LOTR and it was on my way home from work so all my brian did was 'oh she's nice'.... wait...wasn't that ....and I think I may have smiled and I walked on
Then I got an attack of the warm and fuzzies and several things happened
I looked back to see if I could see her again - she'd gone
I got back to the flat and spent an hour thinking about what I was feeling and a funny thing happend
The guilt, depression, anger thing I've been carrying around for nearly 20 years left... actually left
I still think she's beautiful and I still wish that it had worked out but that 'thing' that had been holding me back, down whatever went away
That was Monday
since then I've been more positive more clear headed (It's difficult to put into words) but the realisation that I have been wrong about a lot of things from back then briefly popped up but I'm not looking for any more things to brood about so I'm gonna see how far this goes before the Universe trips me up
Maybe this time it won't
Work on the flat continues
Xmas planning goes on
My birthday (actually the 27th) at the new and improved Tap n Tumbler
Fuckin A
J
That is excellent news. Memories of her seemed like a major stumbling block so it's fabulous that your way is so much clearer, especially for the special lady that is to come.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a strange week after Monday thats for sure
ReplyDeletethings are clearer and now I want to make myself better
and I think that whole special lady thing is something I'd really would like to experience now (if thats the right word)
:)
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