New Years Eve

Well 'bye 2013 you were a bit of a git in places but I got through

been ill (not dramatic just mild stomach upset which has (apart from a couple of nervous trips to Tescos) kept me grounded

had time to think though

firstly some facts

I spent the last couple of nights reading a Star Trek Novel called a ceremony of losses (part 3 in a 5 book run) I lost track of time on both occasions, which doesn't happen often, because I love reading Star Trek and Star Wars novels - there I admitted it

Since I don't have the next book in the series for the above I've gone back to The Companions the first book in The Sundering (or the 'whats going to happen to Forgotten Realms with DND next' ing) and I'm thoroughly enjoying it got the next 2 in the series on order and that brings me up to date and the Neverwinter Saga just turned up (4 Novels) - I'm halfway through the Companions and hopefully the next one at least will turn up today so I can just go straight on in the series

After the frankly exhausting 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who year (Still love the Doc) I was goiong to just dial it back and relax however

Next year is the 40th Anniversary of DND (in all it's forms) so I'm heading into the new year with a pile of FR novels to read and I will be keeping an eye out for news and events until the release of DND Next (which I think will be at the end of August at Gencon) when I will buy the 3 books I always buy and the adventure they always release and run it for a group of players that are interested and see what people think.

If it's crap I'll sell the books on and wait for the next edition or if it's good see what happens

As Christmas turned out a bit more expensive than I thought I am not going to be beering until payday January.

The Gym thing will now be starting end of Jan beginning of Feb as I have very little money and want to walk some of the xmas excess off when I'm back at work

BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!

Southwell Folk Festival was a very expensive couple of days that alternated between fantastic Music, Beer and Company (me and Rob haven't spent that amount of time on our own together in a number of years and that was cool) and appalling camping but after talking with Rob we want to go back (talked to Del and Suse a while ago and they were sorta keen to go as well) so IF I AM CONFIDENT I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND MISERABLE NIGHTS NOT SLEEPING IN A TENT I would like to go back next year

I'm single, I don't want to be single anymore so things have to change (long list of things I think need to change an will be changing as I go over the coming year)

The non reffing thing is doing wonders - my imagination feels like it's growing back and enjoying playing in the games I'm in far more than I was before this is a good

Don't have the entire year planned out in detail but

Quarter 1 - General Flat maintenance and purchase of new bed (mattress), Washing Machine ( and maybe a cooker, I'd like a proper cooker before next Christmas but may leave till further down the year)

Quarter 2 - as this quarter covers Southwell it's difficult to plan too much as I don't know whats happening but camping gear and saving for the festival (and if I spot anything for the flat then get it)

Quarter 3 Decorating/flooring the flat - nut sure about colours or floor coverings but I feel that tearing up these crappy tiles and then we'll see whats affordable

Quarter 4 (if the other quarters worked then proper Christmas decorations and shopping building up to a Christmas where my timing for dinner will be better and I'll have more decorations than just the one tree)

Generally 2014 is about me being better to myself and others and sorting out parts of my life that I feel need sorting

and no serious health issues (that's important)

Love my Friends

Feel a little closer to my Family

Am optimistic about the future

Whats the worst that could happen?

Happy New Year

Julian

Pre Christmas update

It's pretty much here

Christmas Eve tomorrow and pausing during the de-ransacking of my home I pause to jot this down

I can't go on the way I have been

I look at my life and realise that out of my 'extended family' 6 of them are married with kids and are happily so

the others are single and seemingly happy to be so for now

I have had a rough year with another serious illness (which has left a scar) and again spent a lot of time in pain and fear on my own in my concrete box

I got so frustrated with the situation I found myself in that I thought about quitting gaming for a time (glad I didn't, I'm playing 3 games a week these days and enjoying each of them)

Work is appalling but it is a means to an end

Things must change

Once Rob told me that I come up with all these plans because it's always easier to Say than to do and there is a little rush when I come up with a plan and leap into action

Then slow and Stop dead

so things are going to change

There is a plan but I'm keeping it mostly secret

There will be visible signs and it will involve me travelling a bit (hopefully)

I am Happy

But could be happier

So that is what my 2014 is going to be about  - finding a happier me

for now that is all

Merry Christmas

Julian

It's that time of year again....

Well here we are on the last couple of weeks before ..... well you know

New Tassimo Coffee machine is great (definately have to use with water filter)
Tivo is great (Not recorded anything as yet and Spotify needs a premium subscription to use £9.99 a month I don;t think so)

most of my plans for 2013 just didn't happen mostly illness (but not a lot of depression this year just frustration about plans not happening)

So plans for 2013 transferred to 2014 and theres a theme

THE SEARCH FOR JULES!!!!!!!  (echo)

Essentially it occoured to me once I stopped reffing that I've been doing a lot of things over the years that may not have been my idea and stopped doing things for no good reason that I can think of

Example - I used to stay up really late at my grans listening to Radio 2 (soul back then) and played Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks and created maps for them (was doing it in sequence) I had a quite a collection of them but they as well as a lot of my other stuff has dissapeared over the years sadly

But I've been gathering the gamebooks together again and intend on playing/mapping as a 'time passer'

Getting a record player in a couple of weeks and doing the classic album thing (as well as a load of current bands are releasing their stuff on vinyl again)

theres going to be comic collecting (Green Lantern, Justice League, And Teen Titans)

Theres going to be more social stuff thats not gaming

Theres going to be cons (in non Nottingham places) which I realise is going to be flying solo but Either I do that or do nothing

In other words it's time for me to start to spread my wings and go out on my own some more

In the new year Me and Mark are going to be hitting the Gym (Doctors clearence depending)

In June Me and Rob are going back to Southwell (with Derek and maybe Family as an interest has been expressed)

More Board Games

More writing

An Open University Course

A redecorated Flat

and a whole lot of less time for people who don;t want to know me or think they can take my time up leaving me as a spectator some childish, pointless argument - I simply no longer have the time or patience

One person has already been defriended on FB and may be more to follow

In other words Change is coming

Now I have housework to do so I shall put my trousers on (which as I write this would make this whole thing more dignified but it's too late now)

J

Revelations

Great song from Iron Maiden (would put it on right now but it would drown out the Matt Smith Who episode I have on)

So I stopped my Pathfinder Campaign and the relief was palpable not that I wasn't enjoying it as such but Reffing DND type games these days involves a lot of 'staying on top of things' as in player abilities and monsters and new books etc and it became like a second job and I really don't need a second job

I never intended (or said) that I wasn't going to stop reffing things that aren't DNDish and since the 'voices' in my head have started whispering again I've been thinking about projects for the far future (or one of the groups round town)

Three things are in my head at the moment

1) Superhero

A while ago Rob and me briefly chatted about a combined Marvel/DC campaign setting for Mutants and Masterminds (it didn't really go anywhere) but expand it to include The Mutant and Masterminds own campaign stuff and a massive campaign setting exists (or this is a massive self deception and my geek brain is trying to trick me in reading a massive amount of comics/graphics for 'research purposes')

2) WOD/Cthulhu

Suse is a genius

Years ago I tried to run a 'multi class' WOD pre written adventure which didn't work but Suse managed to level things out power wise and it is a fantastic game to play so a multi class (or Mage) game with mythos elements (they're already there anyway) is really tempting right now - as a plus I would have to read a massive amount of White Wolf and as I now know where to get most of the books I'm missing on print on demand I could complete my WW collection - which is nice

3) The One Ring

I love Cubicle 7 stuff and the One ring is a good system (plus you know Tolkien) so this was in the running and I am going to get the stuff at some point in the future but still fantasy reffing

so down to 2

Have a cold which was bloody awful yesterday but today not so bad - would have been fine but work aggravates these things but I think getting better

Doctor Who Anniversary weekend coming up and quite looking forward to it

Think I'm going to read Mage tonight......

When my current run as ref in the week ends I'm hanging it up, for a while

No reffing

And I'm not reffing D20 again (probably) inspiration being what it is you never quite know when your sitting there and an idea hits you which you really do have to get down on paper and as D20 is the most common denominator it may be that if it happens at all

I'm not reffing Fantasy again (probably) see above statement

My sense of wonder has pretty much gone when it comes to Fantasy, it's no longer wondrous landscapes and images in my head of terrifying creatures or incredible magical effects it's all about stats and working out movement in my head etc - I knew this would happen someday and I hope it's not permanent but it may be

Not to mention that reffing DND (and Pathfinder) is bloody hard work after a time as players go up levels and power creep comes into it - it's not fun when it gets like that and DM's do this thing for fun just like everybody else at the Table

I thought about just stopping roleplaying alltogether for a while but The Wednesday Game and Onyx Path Publishing (They're really White Wolf) put me straight on that 

I will still give DND next a look but hold out little hope

So starting after next payday I will be selling off everything DND I have (all editions) I will keep the pathfinder stuff but box away everthing reffish

The WOD game I play at Dereks and Suses has more than rekindled my interest in that system and I have Savage Worlds now which is a generic thing that has a number of settings for it (Including Deadlands) but it lacks something for Space ship to ship combat so I'm getting Traveller

I'll someday run some short adventures of various systems on Wednesday nights but no long term campaigns for me in the forseeable future - there are other reasons for that decision but for the life of me I can't figure out a way to broach those issues without starting some ridiculous scandal or something so leaving those alone

 Weight loss slow but ongoing

Job = Shit - I mean really the feeling I'm being crushed in Mind, Body and spirit is constant in that place now - yesterday after lunch I spent 35 mins trying to get one of my monitors working (this kind of crap is a regular thing at that place) it monotonous work that doesn't change, we've not had a reasonable payrise in years and even my team leader admitted that I'm not being paid what I'm worth but the only way to change that is to get the whole section reassessed and that may well result in pay cuts for some others on the team so she won't do it

So my plans for strating an open university course (creative writing most likely) next September have been moved to February as I'm starting an escape tunnel

Lovelife = none ( still hung up on a couple of people I shouldn't be but after 20 years of being single sitting on my feelings is second nature now but still)

The Flat = ongoing getting some stuff in to start tarting up the place and really want to make the place more comfortable but sometimes see the size of that job and balk - but not giving up

Thats me ... I don't give up

Right got to get scrubbed up and dressed as I am going round Del and Suse's to embarrass myself by 'running' a board game

Later

J

Quick update

well my good mood continues

and in other news work continues to suck the big one

and I have a feeling that the reason that the beeb have been so shit about the Doctor Who 50th coverage is this

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-24448063

I suspect that there have been a large number found and they may be releasing them between now and the anniversary

which is nice

but only a theory, they're having a press conference later this week

fingers crossed

watching Who from the start beginning this week

and indulging in my guilty pleasure

expanded Universe Star Trek Novels

gotta go to work now more later

J

well that was the week that was ....

I saw Brit

On Monday couple of feet away, her eyes met mine and the world didn't explode or anything

you see I was listening to an audio of LOTR and it was on my way home from work so all my brian did was 'oh she's nice'.... wait...wasn't that ....and I think I may have smiled and I walked on

Then I got an attack of the warm and fuzzies and several things happened

I looked back to see if I could see her again - she'd gone

I got back to the flat and spent an hour thinking about what I was feeling and a funny thing happend

The guilt, depression, anger thing I've been carrying around for nearly 20 years left... actually left

I still think she's beautiful and I still wish that it had worked out but that 'thing' that had been holding me back, down whatever went away

That was Monday

since then I've been more positive more clear headed (It's difficult to put into words) but the realisation that I have been wrong about a lot of things from back then briefly popped up but I'm not looking for any more things to brood about so I'm gonna see how far this goes before the Universe trips me up

Maybe this time it won't

Work on the flat continues

Xmas planning goes on

My birthday (actually the 27th) at the new and improved Tap n Tumbler

Fuckin A

J